Busy, busy weekend,

Let's see, Relay for Life followed by a Confirmation lock-in...yeah about a total of eight hours of sleep.

So, I got picked up at school early and headed over to the high school with my dad, and Alex. The theme this year was cities and ours was Sydney, Australia. We wore tye-dyed blue shirts and hula skirts (Well at least most of the boys did). Our hand-painted backdrop was the Opera house and the Great Barrier Reef. There was even facts hung everywhere. (Who knew there was a famous 'Chinese' garden in Australia? I didn't.) We sold meatball subs, vegetarian chili, and lots and lost of coffee.

There was a Miss Universe pageant, which was just for the boys, oh excuse me, the ladies. There was a Sassy Suzie, Scrumptious, and Chrissy Poo present. They were all dressed in dresses, some a little too short. Some even wore heels. There was a talent portion, which was hilarious. One contestant sang "A Whole New World" and another did gymnastic stunts in short shorts, which permanently scared me for life. Scrumptious took home the tiara. There was a scavenger hunt, which we needed a digital camera for. But instead of finding things, we had to take pictures doing things.
-Find a tight place (We squeezed Celia in between a locked fence.)
-Strike a dance pose
-Build a pyramid
-Spell out a word with your bodies (I was part of the 'o' in joy.)
Just stuff like that. We ended up getting all the points:)

Oh, did I mention I walked 14 miles, which totaled 56 laps? Yup, it caused me soar feet, aching calves, and a pulled quadricep in my thigh. But I did feel accomplished and it caused me some bragging rights.

So, after Relay ended Alex and I went home and slept for a few hours, then got packed and showered for the Confirmation Lock-in. Since, we are getting confirmed next Sunday and nobody likes taking the hour-long classes, Linda had a lock-in at church to learn everything.

So, we started off learning basic facts about Confirmation and parts of the church. (I know everything; from the credence to a purificactor. Point it out and I'll know it.) Then, we went to the beach to watch the sunset and learn different ways to pray. And then, we noticed a group of men (only men) singing in a circle, which caused Ronny to go check it out. So, he comes back saying it's an AA meeting and so we're like okayyyy. Then, Alex and Celia go check it out and come back saying it's "a Brother's of Christ" meeting. So, we're like oh, that's nice. Then, we hear worship songs being sung and we can't help it and we go join them. We all start singing and it's so amazing:) My personal favorite.

We did more stuff and learn more stuff and end our day at 11 something. At that time I was running on empty. I think I got about six hours of sleep because Ronny breathed weird and I had to wake up at 7 am.

So, we all sat in the front pew and started naming things in the church. It went something like this:
Ronny: Oh, he's pulling the wine out of the ambre.
Me: Which is above the credence, but below the Sanctuary light...
Ronny: In the Sanctuary.
After the service, we were taught 2,000 years of church history in about 45 minutes:)
I'm actually excited about getting Confirmed. YAY!

Give thanks to the God of gods. His love endures forever. -Psalm 136:2

Impulse

"Wish you could turn off the questions, turn off the voices, turn off all sound.
Yearn to close out the ugliness, close out the filthiness, close out all light.
Long to cast away yesterday, cast away memory, cast away all jeopardy.
Pray you could somehow stop uncertainty, somehow stop the loathing, somehow stop the pain.
Act on your impulse, swallow the bottle, cut a little deeper, put the gun to your chest."

"Love means holding on to someone just as hard as you can because if you don't, one blink and they might disappear...forever."

"Forever has no meaning when you're living in the moment. I wasn't ready for that moment to end."

"Life is all about change. If it were static, think about how boring it would be. You can't be afraid of it, and you can't worry that you'll mess things up. You deserve good things, and I want to be one of them."

By far one of my favorites. Beautiful && real.

Happening:)

was amazing, life-changing, wonderful, fascinating, awesome....there are too many wonderful adjectives to describe it.
We had so many lectures and discussions about everything from our Christian life to our relationship with God. But it wasn't all about talking, it was fun and exciting. Around every corner there was a surprise. There was music and dancing and just plain fun. There was so much love around us. I mean no one was left out and everyone was nice to each other, but it wasn't the "fake nice," people were truly nice. Everyone was so encouraging and most of them go through the same things as me. I thought it was only me who had lapses in faith and distance between God, but it seemed like everyone had those kind of issues. I realized that I'm not alone.

I hadn't realized how distant I was to God until this weekend. Yes, I read the Bible most nights and pray every night, but was I ever listening to Him? It was all about me, blabbing on about my problems, but I never took the time to just sit there and listen. This weekend has taught me that it literally takes two people for a relationship to work and it's the same with God. You have to listen in order to get answers.

I have also realized how many distractions get in the way of God. Magazines, tv, movies, friends, etc. I've always thought of myself as a strong Christian, but that wasn't entirely true. Yes, my friends knew I went to church regularly, but how many times did I bring up God in a conversation? Honestly, hardly ever. How can I say I'm a strong Christian when I don't even spread His great news around? I couldn't.

This weekend has caused me to change, for the better of course. I will listen more and I'm cutting out a lot of distractions. I'm only going to watch two hours of tv a night-no more than that. I'm not reading anymore trashy magazines. I'm going to bring up God a lot more with friends and others. I hope to help my best friend find Him because if I truly cared for her I'd want her to have a relationship with God, too. I'm going to be way more conscience of my actions and words-no bad examples and no curse words. I will be nicer and "spread the love" around. People need to know how awesome God truly is and how-no matter what-He will always be there.

I can't wait for the next Happening, so I can work on team:)

the sun is the devil...

okay, it's not the sun's fault that i'm red and hurt and peeling. it's my fault. i should not have laid out on the beach for 4 hours straight. nope, but there's nothing i can do now.

so, i stayed home yesterday because i was in anguish. it sucked. but i'm better now. i just look like a recovering burn victim with my face peeling. i hid behind my hair all day. i got called 'emo' many times, but it was better than showing my face. this one boy actually had the nerve to say 'ewww, what happened to your face?' i wanted to punch him in his face. let's just say i won't be talking to him anytime soon.

ah, i guess i've learned my lesson.

listen kids: don't worship the sun for hours at a time

Thinking of you, my dear,

I found this photo and immediately thought of you, Jacky.
Don't ask why? Maybe because you would attempt to do this?
I don't know.

Enjoy!

Hope&&Love is all I ask for,

Why is it that just one person makes me angry?

Just one?

And it happens to be my sister, Alex.

I don't understand it, but yet I do. Ya know? I blow up in her face when she's actually trying to be nice, but then I yell at her when she does something terrible. Why can't I be nice when she's nice, and nice when she's mean? Can't I do both?

For example, the other day I went in the shower and left Medium on so when I got out I could just rewind the parts I missed. But when I got out Alex was watching the Bachelor. I don't know why'd anybody would watch that, but apparently Alex liked it. Anyway, I completely blew up in her face and wouldn't even accept her many apologies. I don't even like Medium that much. For once Alex was actually apologizing for something and I was the mean one. I should have just let it go, but I didn't and I felt terrible about it afterwords.

Then, Alex will borrow my clothes without permission and I just let it slide, but if I dare borrow anything of hers, then I have hell to pay. What is that about? She's the biggest hypocrite I know and she doesn't even realize it most times. Sometimes I get so mad at her. Borrowing my stuff isn't that big of deal, but I just yell and yell and yell. I think I yell because I want her to feel sorry for things she does and to realize that sometimes she hurts people. She doesn't even listen to me; she just laughs. I don't know why I waste my breath; she's just going to do it again.

I hate it when I get angry. I end up saying things I don't mean and turn into a horrible person. I hate being like that. I hate becoming that person. That person where I blow up because Alex makes a snide remark and then I end up getting everyone in a bad mood. And it's only her that makes me become that person. I hate it and I know it's not all of Alex's fault.

But then some days I want to be her best friend. I just want to be accepted by her and not have her feel embarrassed by me. Sometimes I do it just because I feel that's what a sister does. I mean I make her lunch everyday, I fix her papers, I let her use my stuff, etc. She doesn't do much for me, but I still do those things I think because she's my sister and I love her. That will never change. There are these little moments that are so tiny that you almost miss them, but in those moments I realize why I love her, not just as a sister, but as a person. I just need to look more.

I guess I'm just writing to get it all out and to figure why I get so angry with her. But yet still put up with it. I just need to not be so quick to anger. I want to be filled with hope and love, not anger and hate. I want to be able to look pass little things and maybe even big things.

I just need to remember that God is love.

Just one of those days, ya know?

The day has been going pretty well by the time I get to drawing class. I'm thinking just a few more hours till I get to go home as I sit down.

Drawing seems to be going okay, better than usual because Priscella was entertaining me with her funny stories. I'm laughing and not really thinking about the octopus I'm drawing with pen and ink. I mean there's not much thinking going on when you're doing pointillism with a quill pen. Maybe I should have been thinking? I don't know.

Well, I wasn't thinking that much about what I was doing until it was too late. My clumsiness got a hold of me and I knocked the bottle of ink over. It happened so fast, but yet I could see the black, black, black ink spilling towards me. It blanketed my artwork, the table, the floor, the chair, and then me.

I was a little in shock when I stood up quickly and yelled the teacher's name. I looked down and was brought back into reality. I had big black stains covering my favorite jeans and in a suspicious place no less. Yes, I had black stains on my crotch along with my thigh.

So, I run to the bathroom and skid across the tile towards the toilet paper. I tear a big wad of toilet paper and douse the stains in water. I dab them ferociously. I look at my navy blue uniform shirt and spot three medium-sized stains, which soaked through my white tank top and to my stomach. Then, I realized that since my crotch is soaked, my underwear must be, too. And sure enough, my new leopard print underwear is covered in ink.

I dabbed at the stains on my jeans for about 40 minutes, which got me some curious stares from a few people. Alex, thankfully, came to the bathroom after I texted her to lend me her gym shorts. Okay, things could be worse I thought. I'm only wearing gym shorts with my stained uniform shirt and flats.

For once, I'm glad that I have study hall. Of course, Autumn and Hayden commented on my "stylish" gym shorts. I explained the situation to them and they just laughed and said 'typical Chloe.' Then, I explained to Autumn that I almost wore my black jeans and black uniform shirt without a tank top, but I didn't. Autumn simply says 'irony at its best.' That's a nicer way to put it.

I also dabbed at the stains in study hall because luckily it's located in the science lad, which has sinks and....paper towels! After half an hour I give up and set my jeans down. There wasn't much I could do.

Just one of those day, ya know?

Amy inspired me:)

i will not procrastinate. i will not procrastinate.
i will not procrastinate. i will not procrastinate.
i will not procrastinate. i will not procrastinate.
i will not procrastinate. i will not procrastinate.

i will read my bible every night. i will work on assignments at least a

week before the due date. i will get ready in time in the morning. i will
not let TV get in my way. i will not do a project the night before it's due.
i will not procrastinate anymore and i will do all these things well:)

i will, i will, i will

I LOVED THE OSCARS!!!

I've been talking about the Oscars all day and I'm pretty sure my friends were sick of it. But I didn't care, I just couldn't hold it in.

Okay, when I heard Hugh Jackman was hosting I wasn't so sure he'd be funny because he's not known for his comedy. But oh boy, I was dead wrong. His first act was HILARIOUS!


wow, he's not only a hottie, but a comedian. who knew?

I was kind of surprised about how they quickly went straight to the best supporting actress catigory, however, I did like it because it got me interested right off the bat. I also liked how they presented it with five past winners and how they explained every woman's role. I loved Penelope Cruz's acceptance speech (Although I did not see her movie) because she was so humbled and in awe. You could see a lot of other stars teary-eyed over it.

I loved Steve Martin and Tina Fey's performance while presenting best original screenplay. They meshed so well together. My favorite part was when Steve said "Don't fall in love with me" forcefully to Tina. I also loved that Milk won that award even though I haven't seen it yet, but I've heard good things about it and hello it did win best original screenplay.

I didn't realize how much humor was in the Oscars until Ben Stiller came on stage to present with Natalie Portman, who looked absolutely stunning. Ben stiller was hilarious imitating Joaquin Pheonix and the way he bizarrely acted on The David Lettermen Show.



I was so happy when Wall-E won best animated feature film. I saw it coming, but it still made me want to jump for joy. Even though it's animated it's still one of my favorite films.

Okay, I haven't seen Benjamen Button yet. I know, I know, what is wrong with me? I was still really happy when it won a lot of the art department awards. I saw how they made Brad Pitt old and it was amazing. They had to do like 20 different techniques for just a few minutes of acting. Plus, they spent millions of dollars on it. Their work obviously payed off.

I loved that James Franco and Seth Rogen reenacted their Pineapple Express roles for the comedies that didn't get selected. And how they found even the deepest films funny, but then when it came to a scene with James Franco and Sean Penn in Milk they both got serious. Oh, and how the scene was where James and Sean were kissing and then you see Seth scooting over a little. I love those guys.

Hugh Jackman and Beyonce's musical performance was great. First of all, Beyonce looked amazing and as always her voice was fantastic. I also didn't realize that Hugh was such a good singer, but he was belting out those notes well. I was extremely surprised to see Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens come out singing along with Amanda Seyfriend and Dominic Cooper. i was wondering why Zac and Vanessa were there. They all did a good job singing and dancing. I was even impressed with Vanessa. I don't know, for some reason I don't like her. (Sorry, Amy.) Maybe because of her popularity or that she's dating Zac? Who knows?!

Again, I loved the set-up of the five past winners presenting the best supporting actor award. I immediately knew Heath Ledger was going to win. His performance was amazing in The Dark Knight, not only how dark he went, but how different he acted than usual. His family was so wonderful while accepting his award. The things they said about the Academy and how thankful they were for recognizing Heath was really touching. And how they loved Heath and his performance. Aw, I miss Heath so much:(

I absolutely loved the performance by A.R. Rahman and the Indian dancers. I wished M.I.A. could have performed with him, but I understood since she just had her baby. John Legend was fantastic as usual and I loved the South African Choir. I know that song was from Wall-E, but I really didn't remember hearing it in the actual movie. I also loved A.R. Rahman's second performance. "Jai Ho" was my favorite song in the movie and it deserved to win.

Queen Latifa sang beautifully while the slide show showed all who've died this year in the film industry. When they showed Bernie Mac, I became uber sad because I always forget that he died. He was only 50. I loved the little tribute to Paul Newman. He influenced so many people; not only those in the film industry, but those all over the world.

There was so many amazing women on stage while presenting the best actress award. Nicole Kidmen, Hallee Berry, Marion Cotillard...etc. So many great actresses were up for best actress. Meryl Streep, Kate Winslet, Angelina Jolie...etc. I literally started jumping up and down on the couch when they announced Kate Winslet as winner of best actress. She deserved it; not only because she's been nominated like five times for it, but her performance in The Reader was phenomenal (So, I hear. I know, I need to see it). Her acceptance speech was so...so honest and humble. I liked the fact that she gave props to the other nominees. Oh, how i love her so much.

Omg, there was so many awesome actors presenting the best actor award. Robert DiNiro, Michael Douglas, Adrian Brody...etc. I mean WOW! Even though I hadn't seen Milk, I was still extremely happy that Sean Penn won. From what I've seen of Milk through short clips, he deserved it. His acceptance speech was so amazing. I liked how he talked about equal rights for everyone including homosexuals and how amazing Obama was. He's such a great actor and person.

The anticipation for the best picture category to come was a lot to bear. First of all, it was very fitting for Steven Spielberg to present it. Second, there was so many great movies up for it. Slumdog Millionaire, Milk, Benjamen Button...etc. of course I was rooting for Slumdog Millionaire, but there was so many other good movies. My heart felt like it leaped out of my chest when they announced Slumdog Millionaire as the winner. Then, my heart leaped again when the ENTIRE cast walked on to stage. The younger actors were adorable. They're one of the reasons why Slumdog Millionaire is so great.

Overall, if not one of the best Oscars than the BEST Oscars ever!
i love movies so much.

countdown to the OSCARS!

is it weird that i'm excited for the oscars?
anyway, i don't care. i love movies and the oscars are the best way to celebrate them.

my dad was talking about how he wasn't interested in them this year. i was like what?! hello, look at the nominations, theres's:

slumdog millionaire nominated for best picture

kate winslet for best actress
which i hope she finally wins!

wall-e for best animated feature film

ron howard for best director

slumdog millionaire for best original songs
two! with m.i.a. rapping in one

happy-go-lucky for best origanal screenplay

i know amy will be rooting for in bruges

not interested?! this ceremony is going fantastic:)

can't wait!

1, 2, 3, 4

i would love to have a sweet boy write a song for me:)

The Lovely Bones

By Alice Sebold

Haunting and beautiful,
Honest and elegant,
Hopeful and captivating...

All of these words came to mind as I read this book.
The subject matter was tough, and often daunting, but all together well put. The characters were real and honest. The descriptions were vibrant and almost appealing. The ending was perfect. My own words do not give the book justice. Only one word comes to mind: beautiful.

Everything about it was beautiful--the characters and thoughts to the grief and loneliness. It's hard to explain how grief and loneliness can be beautiful, but somehow the author made it possible. I don't mean beautiful as in nice to look at, but beautiful as in you can't get more honest and real than that. I often think the most beautiful things comes from the flaws hidden away beneath the cracks or the comfort that comes from a loved one. I think beauty can also be found in the strength that comes from people in desperate situations, that slowly builds as their lives are put back together. Somehow this book captures that kind of beauty.

I'm always drawn to well written books and this book definitely doesn't disappoint. There is something appealing to me when a book can take a simple, straight-forward story and turn it into a complicated and elaborate story through words. Usually I find out that the book is well written, but often not a good story or just words, and not actually a story. This book was none of those things as I soon found out.

I hope you have read The Lovely Bones and if not you should. Most likely you won't be disappointed.

Grammys, end of story

Loved the opening with U2. They still have the rock flowing through their bones. I loved that Jennifer Hudson won Best R&B Album and how she thanked God even after what happened to her family. I wasn't exactly a fan of Justin Timberlake. I just don't see the appeal of him. Simon Baker made my stomach flip when he introduced Coldplay in his Australian accent. Ah, Coldplay. There are no words right now when I think of them. Words just escape me. I could've done without the Kanye interruption. I was so excited when "Viva La Vida" started playing. I'm a sucker for a song with a good beat. The girl from Sugarland was so cute when she accepted their award like how she said she was going to be cool, but then said she wasn't cool, or how she thanked Paul McCartney. It made me so happy when "I'm Yours" and "Viva La Vida" were nominated for Song of the Year, then even happier when Coldplay won it.

Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift were okay together. I mean Miley actually sounded like she was trying, but my stomach doesn't flip when she sings. I liked Taylor Swift on the other hand, probably due to the fact that she writes all of her songs. I don't know, I just like singers more when they sing their own stuff---not what their professional writers write. I loved Jennifer Hudson's performance. Her singing is so honest and she's such a beautiful person.

The Jonas Brothers were cute as usual. I'm not that interested in them anymore. (Although, I do like that they write their own songs.) Maybe because they're everywhere?! I liked Stevie Wonder of course. I feel kind of bad for wondering this, but I just kept wondering what Stevie thought the Jonas Brothers looked like. By the way, Alex asked me if Stevie Wonder could see. I ignored her after she asked me why Travis Barker had a sling around his arm. (Maybe because he almost died in a plane crash in South Carolina?!)

I love Katy Perry's performance. Okay, she's not exactly the most talented singer, but she's so fun. I loved her outfit even my mom commented on how cute it was. She was so energetic and...hyper. I love it. (And the fruit props!) I was so happy when Adele won Best New Artist. My mom aked me if she was pregnant or just chubby. I said, "No, just chubby." She said, "Good, I'm glad. A chubby girl deserves to win it." As in not just for her looks, but for her voice.

M.I.A. cracked me up when she came on stage with that outfit. Rapping and pregnant, probably the most unusual mix. I wasn't a fan of the rap collaboration, well, because I'm not a big fan of rap music anyway. To me it's not real music. Now, the Beatles is real music. I loved Paul McCartney's performance and I just love Paul McCartney. Dave Grohl was awesome, too. (With the drums and the vocals.) Okay, I don't usually like country, but I liked Sugarland and the lead singer's voice. Adele was fantastic, too. The collaboration with the marching band and Radiohead was very cool. I've never been into Radiohead though.

I liked how the head of the Grammys mentioned Obama and his connection to the show. Plus, he mentioned how he's just like us. Yay, go Obama! Smokey Robinson and everyone was great. I love when they have young stars sing old songs. I also liked Neil Diamond. I have always loved the orignals of...well music. No one compares. Ah, I loved the collaboration with B.B. King, John Mayor, and Keith Urban. There was some good guitar playing going on.

I love, love, loved Robert Plant and Alison Kraus' performance. And congrats to them for Album of the Year! They deserved it.

Overall, it was a good show. I was surprised, usually I end up not watching it because they'd focus on just one pop singer. This year there was so much MUSIC and variation. Not just pop and rap music.

Oh, the "60 Minutes" interview with Coldplay was wonderful. Before there was no words and now there are not enough words to describe how fantastic they are. Not only is their music wonderful, but as people they are wonderful. They are all so down to Earth and modest. I mean they kept saying how they would never write the perfect song. What?! All of their songs are perfect in their own way from "The Scientist" to "Viva La Vida." All of the band mates were so humble and didn't even mind that Chris Martin received most of the attention. In fact, they welcome it to him. Of course, Chris didn't want it. I also liked how they had rules taped up in their studio. Number 1 was like how their album can't be more than 42 minutes long. My favorite was Number6--"Always keep mystery. Not many interviews."

Plus, Chris Martin is absolutely adorable. I love it when famous people are just so cute in person and just so...so human. He would have to be the modest out of all of them when talking about their music. I loved it when he said he can't dance like Usher, can't sing like Beyonce, and can't write songs like Elton John, but that he has loads of enthusiasm and he tries his best. Aw, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest when I heard that. I can't explain it, but my stomach does somersaults when I hear my favorite stars just say awesome things like that. Also, it's awesome how he never stops writing songs even while on tour. He sang this song he wrote the day before the interview and it was pure magic. If their music isn't considered perfect, then I don't know what is.

Wow, this would have to be my longest post and it's all about music. I love it.

happy gilmore:)

hahaha, i just saw "happy gilmore" for the first time...
and it was hilarious.

i turn the channel to it and this is what my dad says:
"oh, i only want to see the part where bob barker beats him up."
hahaha, i love my dad.

Shooter McGavin: I eat pieces of $!*& like you for breakfast.
Happy Gilmore: [laughing] you eat pieces of $!*& for breakfast?
Shooter McGavin: No... I...

God's love

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life,neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
-Romans 8:38-39

get off the roads

so, you might want to stay off the roads for awhile because....i got my LICENSE.
i have definitely improved from knocking our mailbox off to passing my driving test while handling a mean instructor. i feel extremely old, and right now that's not such a bad thing to me.

so much freedom, so much responsibility, so much maturity comes with having your license.
and i'm completely happy and grateful to receive all of that.
the best part of all though is by far the freedom...

one last note of the day

i forgot to add this funny thing that happened today.
so "quadrant four" was discussing nicknames in the beginning of class and so far we came up with:
kaitlyn=mama bear (no idea where that cam from; cheyanne's idea)
cheyanne=shyshy (yeah, that one is a little strange, but it fits in a way)
so, jeff finally came up with two potential nicknames for me, which i'm completely against both.

jeff: i got it!
chloe: okay, what?
jeff: chloroform!
chloe: um, no, definitely not.
jeff: yes, chloroform.
chloe: no, i'm not a chemical.

jeff: okay, i know.
chloe: now what?
jeff: cleabus!
chloe: what?
jeff: cleabus!
chloe: no, i'm not responding to that.
(i walk away)
jeff: cleabus!
chloe: i'm not RESPONDING to that.

oh, jeff's nickname is going to be horrible. it's going to be worst than chloroform and cleabus combined. just wait, jeff, just wait.

any ideas let me know:)

love never fails

sometimes i feel as if the world is getting to me.
you know, the "celebrity obsessed-more is always better-money loving" world, where the person with the coolest clothes is better than the person with the good heart. where the girl with the most boyfriends is more popular than the girl with the most love within her. why do i let this "world" get to me?

why?

i should be worried about my relationship with God, or how to better the world, not if i'm the prettiest girl in my class or the girl all the guys want to be around.
i think i'm just realizing this now because i watched Pay It Forward in english class today. yes, i've already seen this movie (probably more than twice), but i never watched with this new found love in my heart. i guess now that i'm closer with God, i'm noticing the way i treat people and my judgements of them. i'm realizing with a little hope and love you can make a big impact and somtimes the simple gestures are the biggest deals. the help is within us all. all we have to do is reach a little within us.

i'm not judging anymore, i'm not making opinions of people at first glance. because when i do make those judgements and opinoins, i'm no better than the "world," maybe even worse because i'm a christian. i can't keep doing that. i want to change, no, i need to change. i'm ready to let go of superficial worries, and grab on to...well, love. because God truly equals love.




"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

i apparently love myself

got this idea from jacky,
challenge: record the quirky or sweet things you love about yourself

i love:
-my weird sense of humor
-how i know strange facts and not afraid to share them
-my great love of cute shoes
-that at 16 years old i truly found God
-how i'm slightly obsessed with television
-that i know who practically every actor or actress is
-that i barely use my cell phone
-my tiny feet, even though they don't go with my height
-how much i generally care about people
-that i love the Earth
-how i get excited about little things, like new episodes of chuck
-how close i am with my 20 year old sister, jacky


by the way, happy early 21st birthday james!

exciting two days

it has felt like a year since new episodes of lost have been on. well half a year. ah, i'm so excited for this season. so far, it is everything i expected and more. oh, how i love this show. thank you, amy and jacky for getting me addicted. i am forever grateful:)))

oh, and i love hurley. absolutely my favorite character on lost. he's so awesome.

by the way, the inauguration yesterday was amazing and exciting. Obama's speech was very inspirational. he had a lot of good points and i think he will lead us in the right direction.

crazy love

OHMYGOSH! i just read this AMAZING book titled Crazy Love by Francis Chan. it's about God's love. isn't that so awesome that someone actually wrote a book about how crazy in love God is with us?

everything chan writes about is directly from the Bible. he writes about how how wonderful and mighty God really is. he also writes about how to become a better and more devoted Christian: just loving him wholeheartedly, doing good for others, loving everyone around you, living your life for God, etc. he writes about how doing good for others without expecting reward is just the same as loving God and just the same as doing good for Him.

" 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' " Matthew 25: 40

i love that everything chan writes all relates back to the Bible. what better way to connect with God and have faith in Him than reading the Bible. for so long i found the Bible boring. boring? wow, how lost was i? he helped me see the Bible in a whole light. it's so crazy that now as a teenager that i love reading the bible and just absolutely love God. this book inspired me.

My favorite part of the whole book would have to be this chapter filled with stories about people who have dedicated there lives to serving God through witnessing, teaching, loving, etc. there was this particular story that really stood out. it was about this woman who's brother was killed from this tribe in Ecuador because he tried to witness to them. she spent about 10 years of her life learning their language and customs so she could teach the Word of God. The thing that got me was that she forgave them for her brother's death. She had so much love in her. The tribe ended up following God's Word and realized how lost they were before. wow, that's love.

lately, i have felt a change in me and it's a good change. it's God. i am becoming more of a loving person and not judging people so quickly. i also feel happy. there is such joy and happiness in my heart from God. sometimes i feel like i'm going to burst if i don't tell people about God. i love talking about Him. i also love discussing Him with cathy and lori. they both turned me on to the book and i am so grateful. this book has also helped me to realize i NEED a better relationship with God. i feel like my life is so much better with God in it and i love it.
i leave you with this verse,

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" Romans 5:8

wonderful music

sorry, i haven't posted a blog in awhile. (that's to jacky.) life's been pretty boring lately.

i watched Penelope on pablo in study hall today. i love james mcavoy, who is practically the best part of the movie. so, the movie was reaching the end when this really beautiful song came on. it was rock 'n' roll, but poetic and mystic like. i rewound the part over and over again to listen to the song more closely. there was another element to the song that was really different and i couldn't figure it out. it was a mystery. finally, the genius in me decided to check the songs at the end of the credits.
the band was Sigur Ros and the song was called Hippipolla. sigur ros is an icelandic band and they sing in their native language. sigur ros is actually named after one of the band member's sister, victoria rose in english. no wonder the song was a mystery because it wasn't in english. wow. i thought i was listening closely, but apparently i wasn't. so, i went on their myspace and discovered another song called vid spilum endalaust. it translates to we play endlessly in english.
the english lyrics are almost magical. i mean the regular version of the song is beautiful, but the english is even better. here are some of the lyrics:

the days flowed, ever-young
endless, and the brightness
smoke stings the eye
it pops up in my head and now i remember it.

it's not hypnotic or up-beat; it's simply beautiful. it's not about love or broken hearts; it's about simple things. i love it. now, go check 'em out.