okay, i know i have just written a blog less than five hours ago, but something has been bothering me and i need to let it out.
i was viewing alex's (my twinnie) myspace profile tonight and saw her friends and comments. (don't worry, people; they were purely public. i'm no lurker.) half of her "friends" were people she seriously disliked months ago, but now she's like best friends with them? that just really got under my skin. then, i saw this comment from this one girl about hanging out with alex. that girl was someboday alex had big issues with and disliked because of her attitude and actions. what is up with this?
i'm all for getting over issues with people and letting the past go, but i'm not irratated just about that. i'm also irratated because the reason she disliked them was because they weren't great people.
Like that one girl, i'll call her "ginger." ginger is actually a nice person to talk to (i would know since i was friends with her before alex), but she causes a lot of childish drama and occasionally hangs out with a bad crowd. alex disliked ginger because she caused this mess between her best friend and her best friend's boyfriend. um, alex remember that? how you said you could never be friends with her and how i shouldn't either? i was barely friends with her, but she was the only person i truly knew in spanish class last year. i never hung out with her because her friends typically did drugs and overall weren't that great of people. so, now alex is friends with her and is going to hang out, too? that i just don't get. how can you become friends with someone you truly dislike, maybe even hate? it's not like alex disliked her just because she could, but no, alex had good reasons. i think one of the reasons alex likes ginger now is because everyone likes her and everyone thinks she's cool plus she can be fun.
another thing that's bothering me is her new "friends" because they're terrible people. for example: there's also this other "friend" alex has made recently and i'll call him "pedro." pedro is likable, but he's not a good person to be around. first of all, he has done every drug known to mankind (well, that's obviously an exaggeration, but you get my point.) he's constantly rude to everyone, but he does it so it doesn't sound so hurtful, but the hurt is still there. he's makes unnecessary sexual references and crude jokes. why is alex friends with him? okay, he's super cute and has good style, but should you trade good morals for good looks? definitely not. i see the appeal, but it just worries me. alex is one of those people who just wants to fit in and be liked. don't get me wrong, she is well liked and has many friends, but the insecurity is still there. she's also influenced easily. all of this just seems to affect me greatly.
i don't know why this worries and irritates me so much. i mean half the time i could care less about alex (being a twin isn't exactly what it's hyped up to be) and who she hangs out with. but the worries are still there. i know she can handle herself, but i think she wouldn't change because of peer pressure (i hate using that phrase because it's what naive adults usually say, but it works) and the need to be liked by everyone else. it just seems like she changed so much this year and it wasn't all for the good. i think her new "friends" are partly to blame for these changes, too.
i think one of the many reasons why it bothers me would probably have to be because i don't understand it well enough because i could care less about what people truly think about me. yes, i can be shallow and care way too much about my looks sometimes, but i am a good person, who knows the difference between right and wrong. i have morals that i live by and stay true to everyday even though it gets hard. for example: i've never done a drug in my life and probably won't for a long time. i don't drink. i don't do these things just because they're illegal, but because i know i never want anything to affect my judgment or choices. i also attend church every sunday and really do enjoy worshiping God and living my life for him. i am a virgin and plan on staying one till marriage. overall, i do what i want and try not to let others affect my judgments and decisions.
i know we all have our faults and slip-ups (believe me i know), but i just think some people including alex need to forget about what people think and do what they want. i'm sorry for my endless ranting, but i just needed to get that off my chest otherwise all of that would be fuming inside me. not pretty.
i'll leave you with a good night=)
2 comments:
oh, chloe. you're so mature now. it's unbelievable, how I felt reading this -- I remember so well when you were so young & I never thought you'd grow up..
but you have, & you're BEAUTIFUL, bum. you really, really are. you remind me of a time I had such uncompromising convictions -- keep it, cherish it, don't let them go for anyone or anything.
as for alex: I feel this way about SO many of my friends. it doesn't end after high school, it seems, it just gets more serious & the consequences get bigger. just pray for her, try to influence her as best you can, & keep being someone worthy of coming to for help; I know it doesn't sound like much but, maybe alex needs to get hurt a couple of times before she sees how necessary it is to stand for something.
hmm. i know she's had some shady friends in the past, but i didn't know about these "new" people. probably because they were so recent (and not REALLY friends, ya know?). i'm so proud of you, though, for sticking to your morals. maybe alex just needs to be made aware of hers (you could try to talk to her buy i doubt she'll listen. still, don't ever stopping TRYING) and if she's in check with them.
good luck.
[perhaps i'll give her a good ole talking to on Christmas lol]
Post a Comment